I haven’t posted in ages because I was busy stalking. Noone in particular, just anyone who left their facebook account unprotected.

There’s this girl who graduated from our university. Never knew her. She was just a face in the vast crowd. Probably more than a year back I saw her at her work place & we exchanged acknowledgement smiles. I didn’t even know her name.

A couple of months later, I found her on fb, and guess what, her account was unprotected. I didn’t even request to be added as a friend. I didn’t need to! It’s amazing how much you can learn about a person by going through their fb wall and photos. I enjoyed logging in every now & then to see what’s new with her. I have grown very fond of her & her family!

Recently, I saw her again in person. I walked over to her to say hi and see how she was doing. “Hi Lexy (not her real name). How are you? How’s your husband? Did you enjoy your vacation in Hawaii?!”

If it wasn’t for the confused/shocked look on her face, I wouldn’t have realized at that moment that we’re not friends. WTF?! But I know her so well!!

And that is how I scared off a really good friend who didn’t know I existed. She’s such a tease, why leave your account so accessible when you don’t want people to stalk you? She’s lucky I’m not one of those crazy bitches who flip on you & ask why you’ve been ignoring them.

I have been really enjoying the recession coz it hasn’t YET bitten me in the ass. I’ve been observing how things have been changing since the 4th quarter of last year – all of them good, for me at least.

For one, airfares have been dropping like bird droppings, which is awesome for me coz I love spur of the moment travelling.

Last week I went to Etisalat (my ISP) to transfer my DSL to a different location. I asked for an appointment Sunday. The technician calls me on Saturday, begging me to let him come over to fix it within 15 minutes. Who would’ve thought such a thing was even possible?! This is awesome.

Right when I was about to dismiss it as a coincidence, the cable guy called to ask if he can come by NOW to fix my new Showtime receiver, which was due THREE fucking days later! I hadn’t even finished the paperwork with them!

Ah, people are finally considering customer satisfaction, and what the customer REALLY wants. I’m just waiting for real estate to officially drop, so I can do my victory dance, and secretly pray I don’t get fired.

Ghosts from my past ones who have made it clear they don’t want to be a part of my life anymore have suddenly emerged in the form of a text message.

And this had to come at a time when I’m struggling to keep up with my REAL friends.

Someone shoot me.

I know I have issues to deal with, and that I have disappeared from the lives of many, but I promise I’m not doing drugs – at least not the strong ones.

Maybe that’s why I’m fucked up! I need stronger drugs. So, if you have a joint I can smoke you can be my friend.

Otherwise fuck off coffee will do.

Today I took my first dose of antidepressants, and it depressed me even more. Taking the pills was like finally acknowledging I’m fucking depressed.

I never believed in depression. Honestly, I still don’t. To me it’s just a state of mind that goes away – nothing chronic. It’s just a sad excuse.

The pills are supposedly herbal, which means it’s mild, for those who are in denial, and gives it an excuse to smell bad.

Like I said, I’m going through one of the best times of my life, but there’s always those moments when I’m feeling sad. The antidepressants are supposed to clear my head, so I hope that works.

If you feel offended by my entry, you should try my meds.

Yeah you figured it out. I haven’t written anything in a long time coz I’m fucking depressed.

No, I lied. That’s not the reason. But I am depressed today, and no I’m not PMSing.

For the past months I’ve been learning something new about myself everyday. And now I can officially say I’m a masochist.  Shut up. I know, anyone could’ve told me that!!

Otherwise, I have been having the best time of my life since I last blogged. This only tells me one thing: I blog when I’m unhappy. It’s sad that I couldn’t include y’all in my happy times.

So, I’m gona refrain from writing my yearly update, until I’m feeling better, so I don’t jinx the entire year.

Until then… life sucks…

Cheers

I was going at my favorite past-time, downloading porn movies. I reluctantly look up from my screen & I see a huge spider in my bedroom. It was fucking huge, like the size of my fist I swear!!! I choked on my own breath & ran for my pif paf, but it had disappeared by then. I sprayed every inch of the room anyways, & not a trace.

Now I can see it in everything. Feel it in everything. I have to touch my head every now & then to make sure it’s not there. I’m hugging an insecticide for God’s sake.

Well, you can guess that I’m not sleeping tonight.

So, if you’re a friend & would like to catch up, this is the time.

And if you’re not a friend, now’s probably a good time to get to know each other, and buy each other coffee – I could use a cup right now.

You catch a colleague boob-gazing… & totally lingering!!

I haven’t written in a long time because I was busy eating in Paris, Marseille, Cannes, Nice, Monte Carlo, Geneva, and Milan. It’s amazing how much of a culture you can exprience by just trying their food.

Of course my favorite would have to be Milano, because I not only got to learn about the culture, but also the language of food. After spending four nights in Milan I am now proficient at the Italiano food vocabulary. Anything beyond food just doesn’t get past my skull, because eat was all we did, and we have the photos to prove it!

My food language came in handy once though when I screamed “il conto” meaning “the bill” at a nasty lady who bumped into me!! Ironically, the bill at the amazing tortelloni place really was a cunt.

Today I was evicted from my cubicle… into an excecutive office at the Dharma Initiative, with all the big shots.

I already miss all my buddy cubicle monkeys. They’re an amazing, super fun bunch.

One of them just peeked into the office, dropped a few bombs, and walked away. As if I had a choice!! They cut off my phone line and internet so I would move.

Man, I feel so down.

I lost my mojo.

Last night, I had the most amazing dream. And, this is why I’m typing this at 3:30am. I can’t go to sleep knowing I can’t continue that dream. The only thing that made me wake up last night was the fact that I would’ve peed in my bed had I stayed any longer.

In this midst of all the chaos; moving out and planning the summer vacation, I get the perfect dream that puts my life fantasies into perspective!

Man, if I could ask for one thing, it’d be to continue that vivid dream. Otherwise, I can always settle for a re-run.