Archive for grandma
I see things. Two crimes are going to take place soon. I don’t know where, and I don’t know when. I just know it’s going to happen. They must be stopped before it’s too late!
I was going through my blog stats this morning, when I came across the search engine terms (these are terms people used to find your blog). There they were right before my eyes. I could picture them being acted out. It was horrible. Traumatizing. They must be stopped!!
“grandma nasty atomic wedgie”
“boys giving girls atomic wedgies”
(There are real sick people out there, who google atomic wedgies and ways to torture their grandmothers. But the real sick thing is, they always happen to stumble onto my blog.)
To celebrate Mother’s Day, I took my grandma on a long road trip to and from AD. (Actually, she just had a hospital appointment and I was the only person with no life.) The two hour drive gave us the opportunity to do some bonding we never would’ve done otherwise.
Today, I learnt from my grandmother one of the most important things a girl needs to know, to deal with her husband – living through “the snore.” Considering the fact that most men snore, I’ll have to say I’m am now immune to it.
At first, I thought my grandma was really asleep and snoring her lungs
and mucus out. But it turns out she was giving me a training session. She tried the subtle snore… the not-so-subtle snore… the there’s-nothing-subtle-about-it snore. I must say, the last one was traumatizing. But the fact that I lived through it means alot. I am now one step closer to being ready for life as a couple.
However, my training has not been completed. I’ll be bonding some more with my grandmother, to get some of her wisdom in life.
Don’t get me wrong, my grandmother is a wonderful old lady, but I like to make fun of everything.