The phantom dick is back, except…

it’s not a phantom dick, it’s a fucking real one. Yes, I know what you’re thinking… eeeeeeewwwwwwwww! Shut up, I know! 

*Shreiking in head, and throwing up in mouth*

One of the cleaning contractors has the weirdest fetish. He ignores “Ladies Toilet” signs. No that’s not his fetish. He ignores the men’s stall (because it used to be a men’s toilet), and the shit hole in the ground, and aims his filthy hose on the fucking toilet seat, and the floor. That’s the ass hole’s fetish.

I went straight to the Dharma Initiative administration manager and told him to grab him by the dick and shove him outside. We still need to find out who the phantom is. You know how sociopaths are, they look absolutely normal, like you and me. Well, at least me.