Atomic Wedgie
Deep & NastyArchive for dillema
Decisions, Decisions
That’s all I’ve been doing since I graduated - making decisions. Everytime I think that’s it, no more, this’ll be the last one, something else pops up.
But right now, I’m torn between two job opportunities. Both are excellent. And I want both. “Mommy, can I keep them both??”
Unfortunately, I can’t, and it’s killing me. I’ve been dazed and oblivious of everything around me for the past few weeks.
I know there’s no wrong decision in this case. But, I don’t want to live my life with what ifs. I feel like screaming my head off. I hate this. I just want it to be over.
I’m gonna resort to God for help. At least then I won’t even be able to ask what if, ’cause I’ll be bound by a contract with Him.
I’m Nervous
Tomorrow, I’ll be touching a ball again. Not that kind of ball you perverts.
We’re having a friendly basketball game, and I haven’t played since April of last year. What if I don’t know how to hold the ball anymore? What if my skills are all gone? That would be tragic. The most tragic thing in my life, since basketball is the only real thing I am was good at.
I’ve been avoiding even holding a basketball since I stopped. I don’t want to know the sort of feelings that would rush in: The yearning to play again, to be part of a team, to hold that ball, to fly again… only to come crashing down.
Basketball was a huge part of my life… and now it’s just something I used to do. I feel ashamed to tell people I played; simply coz I don’t anymore.
*Deep breath* We’ll see how tomorrow goes.
