I was going at my favorite past-time, downloading porn movies. I reluctantly look up from my screen & I see a huge spider in my bedroom. It was fucking huge, like the size of my fist I swear!!! I choked on my own breath & ran for my pif paf, but it had disappeared by then. I sprayed every inch of the room anyways, & not a trace.

Now I can see it in everything. Feel it in everything. I have to touch my head every now & then to make sure it’s not there. I’m hugging an insecticide for God’s sake.

Well, you can guess that I’m not sleeping tonight.

So, if you’re a friend & would like to catch up, this is the time.

And if you’re not a friend, now’s probably a good time to get to know each other, and buy each other coffee – I could use a cup right now.