Atomic Wedgie
Deep & NastyArchive for December, 2007
My Ass is Grass
This diarrea is killing me! It was worst when on the plane. I tried to hold it back for 20 hours. The turbulance didn’t help at all.
Three days later, I am bound by my bowels to a kilometer radius from the hotel. After every snack, every sip of coffee, every meal, I have to run back to the room for emergency evacuation. Sometimes, as soon as I leave the bathroom, I feel my intestines churning again, ready for another go.
It sucks that this had to happen on my first real holiday. Dammit!!! I tried everything to stop it, even swallowing a tea bag. Ew… I can still feel it at the back of my throat.
Wiser
My wisdom tooth has been cracking its way through my skull. (Instead of turning wise, i’m turning into a numbskull.)
I finally went to see my dentist after trying all sorts of pain killers and anesthetics. First thing he asks me when he looks at the swollen friking wisdom tooth is, “Do you have a toothbrush at home?”
Hey, I can’t get my toothbrush that far, it’s too crowded in there, plus I’m a gagger!!! HELLO!!!
Right now, I’m overdosed on all sorts of meds. And, you’d think pain radiating in my oral cavity would stop me from eating. I’ve been stuffing my face silly. Hibernating this winter?
Desperate
I watched Beowulf in IMAX today, and it was awesome. I was completely caught up in the movie; for a while I felt like I was part of it. That’s how desperate I am to be part of something big – it’s so sad. Plus, the bisexual-slash-lezbo-slash-envious side of me always wanted to see Angelina Jolie naked in 3D! Totally worth the money we spent.
Anyways, I was saying, the movie in 3D was so amazing and so real!! As real as the ulcer I got in my mouth after eating at Japengo – fucking Spring Rolls. I should’ve settled for the hotdogs I had in the cinema.
I guess today was good, except for the part where my friend tried to jump me in the car. She wanted to prove me wrong coz I called her frigid. LOL!!
