Atomic Wedgie
Deep & NastyArchive for August, 2007
A Cinderella Story…
… with an unhappy ending.
Walking from the car park to the administration building this morning, I noticed my shoe laces were untied. I thought I’d get them later when I’m in the rest room hanging my abaya.
Up up up the stairs, and… opps… safety shoe fell off!
I pick the shoe, and hop on one leg.
The purpose of this story is not to tell you of a funny situation. When you think about it, it is in fact a very very sad story.
The one thing that keeps buzzing at the back of my head is that, despite the 1000:1 ratio of men to women here at work, noone came scurrying to pick up my shoe. They’re all too careful, too uptight! For God’s sake, where are your balls? No this is not an invitation to grope yourself.
Only one guy has been comfortable and natural around me, and it’s making me second guess his sexual orientation.
I’m doomed in this place.
Ok, back off, I’m PMSing.
Jane of the Ocean
Occassionally, like humans, animals in captivity pets need to visit their natural habitats. They need to see what they’re missing. And, if they’ve been fixed, it’ll be like rubbing it in their faces.
That is why, at least once a week, I take my fish to the ocean. I grab her by the tail, and dip her in. Two dips and we’re done.
The Double L Word
Did you know some desert lizards don’t reproduce, but replicate themselves. However, in order to do so, they need to trigger their hormones. So, they rub against each other like a bunch of lezbos.
Yep, that’s what I was watching this weekend, Lesbian Lizards, on National Geographic.
These Are Stressful Times
… not at work; more like life! Changes are happening and I’m freaking out. It’s a good change, but not an easy one at all.
So, everytime I feel frustrated & stressed out I call my bank’s 800 number & vent my anger on them.
Not that they don’t deserve it. Their performance has been declining lately, at a time when I need them the most. Plus they were trying to trick me into applying for a rip-off of a credit card.
Anyways…
I gave them a piece of my mind. I think my number is in their black list now.
Question: Can they keep my money from me? I might have to start being nice.
